I never thought much of where this hobby would take me when I walked into Girl Next Door pole studio on October 4th, 2023. My intention was to find a new outlet to move my body since I found myself getting in a rut with working out at the gym. I had been weightlifting for several years and became so disciplined but felt like I was just going through the motions, losing sight of my ‘why’. What do I have to lose? If I don’t like it, at least I now know that it isn’t for me. Little did I know walking into this studio would change my life in so many ways.
I remember leaving the studio and not being able to make sense of how I felt about the experience… ‘Did I like this? Did I not? Wow, that was so awkward on my body’. For as long as I could remember, sexy was a word that was never an adjective to describe myself or let alone how others would describe me. I was used to being ‘the cute girl’. I also don’t think I even knew how to define the term ‘sexy’ or what it really meant to me- the narrative I had about myself for so long was that ‘I’m not sexy’. However what I came to discover was that all the women I would define as sexy didn’t posses
the same physical features- rather it was an ethos, or particular essence about them. Sexiness was defined by confidence, charisma, a sense of magnetism, and the ability to truly live an authentic expression of themselves. I think of sexiness as someone who isn’t afraid to ruffle a few feathers or be perceived by others through the lens of judgement because they’re their highest authority. Whose to say I can’t embody those qualities? Sexiness was now becoming redefined to me by looking beyond the surface.
1 month turned into 3 months of this hobby, ringing in my 26th birthday with the studio because I chose to spend it in an environment I truly felt safe and free in due to the warmth and encouragement of the instructors and owner. They saw something in me that I couldn’t for so long, and the camaraderie shown by everybody made this place start to feel like a second home. What great way to show self-love than spending your Valentine’s day connecting to yourself so sensually? I couldn’t shut up about how special it felt to find a place like this, so I started recommending this place to friends of mine. I never realized that I actually started to plant little seeds of community.
I felt such a connection to this studio I couldn’t help but find myself promoting the heck out of the studio, not out of obligation, but because I felt like every woman deserved to get out of their head and into their bodies. As a mental health therapist, my job is going into the layers of someone’s mind, and even my own mind can be a difficult place to be sometimes. With patriarchy working so hard at intentionally disconnecting women from our bodies from such a young age, it’s no wonder I felt insecure and unsure of why I wanted to even attempt something like this. I’ve experienced being in class and having the worst feelings and perceptions about my body because seeing your legs bend only to reveal the cellulite you’ve wanted to disregard for so long stares you right in the mirror. I’ve seen women hike their shorts down in the studio because they too, were made to be insecure about their body at one point in time. I see reflections of myself in each woman I’ve had the privilege to know in this studio. The internalized shame, or alternatively, the unbridled liberation felt during freestyles when you finally tune the world out, I’ve
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